Thoughts from Away Day

Topic: “Thoughts from Away Day”

Example ideas:

• What was your favorite presentation?
• What do you think the purpose of Away Day is?
• What will you take to your project?
• What do you think you/we can do to make active change on SIP issue [X]?)

Alyssa Nabors

2013 Away Day was my first experience EVER with ThoughtWorks outside of the interview process. It blew me away then, and it did the same this year! I really enjoy the opportunity to get in touch with ThoughtWorkers I haven’t seen for a while and get the chance to meet more, old hands and brand new! I couldn’t stop talking about how brilliant the selfie quest app was- gamification of networking, with a picture dictionary of the ThoughtWorkers you met!

(gif source: http://i1138.photobucket.com/albums/n527/The44thHour/DWBrilliant.gif)

As someone who has had the opportunity to engage in multiple roles on different projects, I had quite a time deciding with breakout sessions to attend. I ended up choosing mostly sessions that contributed to my pet-project-necessitated skills: UI design. However, I also made time to attend an informal Crucial Conversations workshop, as I am always striving to improve my consultant-specific toolset. One session actually bled into both areas: a talk on rational design, which touched on how we become attached to our ideas very quickly and can lose sight of what the actual best solution might be. A book that was recommended to me by the speaker if I really wanted to “geek out on the subject”: Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

One thing I really want to see come back next year is the Haymarket book table. Everyone who saw me at Away Day knows they got quite a bit of my money. And with good reason! With books like No One Is Illegal, Men Explain Things to Me, and Brazil’s Dance with the Devil, there were plenty of ways to read up on many of the issues we touch on in our P3 endeavors.

Aubrey Chipman

I had a number of take aways from Away Day.  Here are some of them:

• I need to watch/ hear more of the speeches of Civil Rights Activists.  The ones we saw were full of force and determination, and I want more. 
• Websites are not built for people with screen readers.  Either we need to make a better web interface, or we need to make better screen readers.  Possibly both.
• I met so many people!  Taking selfies with others worked wonderfully as a way to run rampant with taking photos, a way to get close to people you haven’t made friends with yet (and then you have!), and a way to encourage a little competitive spirit in the get together.  
• I want to make a responsive site starting with mobile-device display size first, to allow for growth of content according to viewing size.  This seems like an under-utilized, good design pattern to follow. Check it out.
• We can all become better story-tellers.  I wish the workshop on this was longer, as it was applicable to all of us as positive-change-driving consultants.  

Linda Goldstein

#NAAwayDay is too nuanced an experience to describe to completion, but here is some stuff...

1. My favorite part was seeing all the great people I’ve worked with. I think that Away Days get more meaningful the more of them you attend.
2. I think that the "Selfie App" was a brilliant idea, well executed. I saw many ThoughtWorkers using it as an icebreaker for interacting with our thought leaders like Martin Fowler and Rebecca Parsons. It was an engagement enhancer for many TWers, it produced some hilarious collateral, and it made great memories. There was even a Beryllium selfie onstage! It is one of my favorite tweets from the #NAAwayDay twitter stream.
3. ThoughtWorks TechOps ran a flawless remote keynote (with remote Q&A!) This is a communications achievement that many of our projects arrive at inconsistently and with great effort. I am very impressed.
4. What can ThoughtWorkers do about these causes we have heard about? We are told - you can read this book. Buy this t-shirt. It is a drop in the bucket, and there are a lot of buckets. It is not fulfilling to put one drop in these one or two buckets. Which drop? Which bucket? I think that you have to pick a cause that “speaks to you” and put most of your drops in that bucket.
5. TW is not perfect at internal communication, or at living up to every one of our ideals all of the time. I think that Away Day helps us unify and become more aware of where we are not internally ligned with ourselves.

How do you make a project comfortable?

Prompt: How do you make a project 'comfortable' for women/HDA/everyone? 

• What are ways in which allies can ensure that they give the appropriate space on projects?
• What makes projects less comfortable? 
• Gender, gender expression, Historically Discriminated Against (HDA) perspectives

Abby Bangser

I think that being self aware is very important. There are ways to watch your language, proximity and activity suggestions to make interactions easier and more welcoming. In addition, the people that have made me feel most welcome are the ones that are aware of others interactions as well. The teammate that comes over after a particularly male dominated conversation to discreetly ask if that went too far, or the supervisor who notices, and chooses to address, the fact that I may excuse myself from certain gatherings are the people who can make a change.

The term "ally" is used in the prompt to ask what actions that person can take. Beyond personal action, general awareness and empathy can go a really long way in opening lines of communication.

Alexandra Price

One thing that many people brought up is the feeling that you’ll say something in a meeting (either formal or informal) and be ignored or shot down, just to have someone (usually a guy, especially if they are more senior) say the same thing thirty seconds later and have everyone agree. One of the things that can really help is if whoever does get listened to can act as an ally, and make of point of saying something like “I agree with what Alexandra just said” rather than repeating the point. Once this happens a few times, people will usually start listening better in the first place. Of course, the best thing would be to start every meeting by reminding yourself to give credit to everyone’s ideas. If people feel they won’t be listened to, they will just stop contributing--and that hurts the entire team and project.

Alyssa Nabors

I didn't realize until I started my first at-the-client-site project, but ThoughtWorks is a bit of an idealized version of a diverse workplace. I was almost never the only woman in the room, no matter what room I was in or why! Starting my first project was a little bit of a shock, being one of two women on the team for nearly two months. I don't think that anyone on the team has ever said anything that could be remotely interpreted to be about my gender, except for a compliment on my engagement ring or congratulations on my recent marriage. Even in times of great stress, feedback has been framed around making the team more effective and being a better consultant. However, if I didn't have Kim with me on this team, I likely wouldn't have confided in anyone until our team grew and more women rolled on to the project. There are certain things that I struggle with that feel, to me, like something that could be interpreted as signs of weakness, or, in a less supportive environment, attributed to my gender rather than a stage of personal growth. There are certain judgements that I'm concerned men coworkers would make where I feel another woman would be able to empathize. Even if I had been the only woman on the project, I know I would've been able to at least confide in my coach. I know that she can understand what I'm going through, and give objective advice. Knowing that I can reach out to her for a fresh perspective and absolute support. She's a she though; I know I wouldn't have the same level of trust in a man coach. Maybe this is unfair to the majority of male-identifying ThoughtWorkers, but I've been burned before and my comfort zone is firmly established in this regard. You want to make everyone comfortable on a team? Make sure they have someone with whom they feel they can communicate with openly and safely. Maybe for other Historically Discriminated Against groups, or even other women, this may not mean "someone with the same background as me". Maybe it just means someone they have established a relationship with. Whatever it means, I think it's worth making sure that everyone has that resource.

Aubrey Chipman

A more comfortable experience is one that is inclusive.  For example: having team lunch/ dinners at locations that everyone gets a chance to pick, and will respect people who have dietary restrictions; team outings that are broadcasted to the entire team, not just select individuals who can become a clique.  As well, staffing on a project will have a large effect on comfort levels: it is good to staff at least two of any underrepresented group.  As a woman developer, this has the largest noticeable effect that helps me relax in a work setting: I am not alone.

As for what makes a project uncomfortable: a lack of discussion when people have different styles of disagreement.  In a team setting, it is inevitable to have disagreement, and frequently these styles will not match up.  When there is one party that consistently falls to silence or one party that consistently ‘wins’, the team room gets awkward.  And then it gets worse.  

Lily Lambda

1. I want my gender respected, just like everyone else. I don’t see any reason why teammates should fumble between “she” and “he” for the first few weeks. They need to practice that on their own damn time. Complaining that it’s difficult because they’re not used to it is unacceptable. To me that translates as “I’m exploding with cis privilege, don’t view you as a woman, and don’t really care to self-examine. It’s your job to educate me, and my prerogative whether to listen or not.” Being misgendered is downright traumatic and can derail my entire day. It’s dehumanizing. I can’t describe a lower level of “safety” than fearing I’ll be addressed as a man.
2. I don’t think anyone should ever label themselves an ally, nor do I believe a man should ever call himself a feminist. It’s a fig leaf and an appropriation of a marginalized identity. Act like an ally. Don’t call yourself an ally.
3. Unless I explicitly invite feedback on my outfits (and admittedly, as a femme with exhibitionist tendencies I sometimes do …) I don’t think it’s an appropriate topic for conversation. I know how the game works: people think they’re just giving compliments. But the flip side to compliments is withholding compliments. I get loads of compliments when I dress more cisnormatively, heteronormatively, feminine, and mainstream, but receive very few otherwise. Translation: “we don’t like it when you look trans, gay, masculine, or reflective of your culture.” Ouch! The same goes with “helpful suggestions”. They amount to “here’s how you can look more cis, straight, feminine, and culturally mainstream, because those are best.”
4. I’m unnerved by brogrammer culture: shouting, pseudo-intellectual posturing, interrupting, arguing, mansplaining, etc. Teammates should not do that, even if they’re coming from a startup culture where it was accepted.
   
5. Teammates should calibrate their speaking styles to one another. In practice I think this means male developers need to speak less often, less loudly, and with less authority/certainty. As the dominant group, I believe the onus is on them. Others can benefit from speaking more frequently, more loudly, and with more authority/certainty, but as the marginalized group the onus is not on them. This should not start an “arms race”.

Linda Goldstein

To me, body language is important in team interactions. Having a fellow teammate slowly inch closer to you over the course of a conversation is hard to address verbally without sounding irrational. I usually use the phrase "Could you please move over. I like to have a lot of personal space."

I think that a characteristic of a team which is likely to be pleasant to be on is that if there is a meeting between several different physical locations, all team members make a point of speaking to the phone and actively involving remote members in the conversation.

Reflect upon starting at ThoughtWorks

Prompt: Take a look back and reflect upon starting at ThoughtWorks. What were some things that enhanced your experience and what left you with more questions? Were there unexpected turns, and did you see yourself change with them?

Rebecca Lau

I recall coming in on my first day at Thoughtworks, and being floored that sitting around the table with me were more females than males (each with a different personality, as I later found out). It was just an observation at the time, but as I work and compare my experience as a CS major in school, versus learning at Thoughtworks, I find that this diversity has made an enormous difference in how I feel on a day-to-day basis. Why? Perhaps I cannot, or should not, point at a singular reason.

Still, I can remember sitting in a CS class, thinking over all my questions thrice in order to make sure they weren’t stupid so people wouldn’t judge me (and somehow, judge all the other people who shared my gender but weren’t in the room). A lot of the time I ended up not asking the question, or I would save it for later, when I could send an impersonal e-mail or meet the professor one-on-one in office hours (but only if I had previously developed a good relationship with the professor in the first place).

While I’ve been at Thoughtworks, I think about what I want to say- but I am no longer afraid to seem ignorant, and this has helped me fill in the gaps in my knowledge base. I cannot point to anything that caused me to consistently feel this way at school. But I also cannot deny that it was there, and now it isn’t. Have I changed, or is it just the environment around me that has changed? It may be impossible for me to tell, but at the very least, I am more confident in my opinions and words today.

Ariel Flaggs

When I first started at TW I was not really sure what I had even signed up for, but I was ready to give it my best. That was easier said than done. Although, I was putting in the effort I did not know what I was doing. Going through the TW101 course work I felt I was missing the mark. My learning coach always offered steps for improvement, which helped to put my mind at ease some. However, when the week ended before heading off to India I was starting to doubt myself. I beat myself up that I was not learning fast enough. I was not used to struggling to grasp concepts and ideas and I did not like this feeling. I went off to TWU with the mindset that it is ok to fail. I am not sure I fully believed this, but I went with it. Once at TWU that’s exactly what I did. Not failed necessarily, well I hope not, but saw each opportunity as a learning experience. In time I beat myself up less and less. I am now much more comfortable with not knowing and learning as I go. Quieting the negative voice in your head can be hard, but has reduced the amount of stress I feel on a daily basis and allowed me to take it one step at a time.

Alyssa Nabors

Going into my first few weeks at ThoughtWorks, I felt like I was reliving my freshman year of college in a lot of ways. It was expected that I would go wrong in some ways, and there were people in place to implement course corrections. The people around me were just as new as I was, and so even though our knowledge and experience levels were hugely different, we were able to face our new experiences with a wonderfully comforting sense of camaraderie. Especially considering that many of us were new to Chicago, and that we’d be the only people we knew going to India, we were able to form friendships quickly.

I’ve been really grateful for those friendships as we worked through TWU and the weeks since. It’s a lot easier to ask friends for help, and to trust friends to give you honest feedback with the motivation of helping you improve rather than from a place of spite or malice. Friends make coming to work a happier thing, even on bad days. The biggest problem for me is that despite this collegiate atmosphere and these new and close relationships, ThoughtWorks is still my job. It’s a job that I love, but it is sometimes difficult to know where the good balance between professionalism and the typical TW casual attitude is until you’ve tipped too far one way or the other.